Pardon his French: Gordon Ramsay at the Petit Trianon in Versailles

It’s convenient that Gordon Ramsay is opening a new eatery called Plane Food at Heathrow Airport this month, because he’s about to become a frequent flyer to France.

The F-word abusing F-Word and Hell’s Kitchen star plans to make his soon-to-open Gordon Ramsay at Trianon, located in the luxurious Trianon Palace Hotel and Spa in Versailles, a Michelin 3-star restaurant.

Ramsay, who suffered some undisclosed trauma when training in Paris in his youth, describes this project as a revenge of sorts on the French. In a fit of “culinary patriotism,” Ramsay will be literally bringing English food to France, introducing the French to delicacies such as “our f****** mussels and oysters from beds in South Ireland.” Tell that to French President Nicolas Sarkozy, who raised eyebrows recently when he announced that he wants French cuisine to be listed as a World Heritage item by Unesco.

The opening of Ramsay’s latest project has been delayed to the end of March, but he is busier than ever: in addition to restaurants in London, Dubai, Tokyo, New York, and Dublin, he’s recently opened Maze in Prague. Good thing he has help, or he could, like former Trianon babe Marie Antoinette, lose his head. While the celebrity chef globe-trots, his Versailles restaurant will be manned by head (no pun intended) chef Simone Zanoni, who has survived worked with Ramsay for 10 years.

Gordon Ramsay at Trianon will probably be booked solid in its first months. Funnily enough, however, there are still job openings. But if you can’t take the heat, get out of the f***ing kitchen.

June Gloom

While the rest of the country is cavorting in cute summer clothes, we here in Northern California have just entered our infamous "winter" season. Those cute little frocks I was dreaming about wearing will have to wait 'til September, and in the meantime finding something to wear is no easy task. I have pre-ordered this multitasking Tinc (www.tincwear.com) zip-up sweater in black cashmere by local designer Savannnah Knoop that can be worn a thousand different ways, but it won't be in 'til august. O, the desperation! Uncomprehendingly, local "chain" shops do not seem to stock very many sweaters, and the small boutiques smart enough to offer cashmere are hawking it at something approaching the price of gold, knowing we are desperate and will pay anything for a bit of warmth. Since we are reaching deep into our pockets anyway, why not go straight to Fall 2008 ready-to-wear and couture, some of which is available already on net-a-porter and eluxury? I recommend black since it's back in a big way, and you'll get more wear for the buck out of it.

Balmain showed the perfect tuxedo jacket, animal-print trousers optional. It would look so chic tossed over a summer dress. It would even be adorable with a tank top, jeans, and statement jewelry.Dolce & Gabbana topped a huge number of their fall looks with Astrakhan long vests or jackets. The one below is shorter and more manageable than the majority, and so warm and fluffy that maybe you can overlook the karmic consequences of wearing something made entirely of fetal lambs. Gucci jumped on the Fair Isle bandwagon and produced this adorable wool vest that cuts all the black with a hand-crafted design for that desirable "Kate Moss at a summer music festival in England" look we're not over yet. Combine with unseasonable boots (one of the perks of living in SF), clashing prairie dress, and stringy hair. The most important issue to keep in mind when doing the whole winter-coat in the (supposed) summer look is to keep it short and relatively casual (but no parkas or rigid trench coats), so it looks like it was thrown on as an afterthought, i.e. it totally doesn't need to match your outfit. Doo.Ri's wool flare-sleeve topper achieves this really well, because it is unstructured yet elegant. There, problem solved. Now we can move on to thinking about what to pack for trips to Sonoma and Napa, where we can warm our chilled selves.

Jewel Of the Seine

You’ve heard of boutique hotels- now, with the impending launch of the MS Jewel Imperial Blue, the world’s first all-suite river cruise ship, get ready for “boutique luxury” cruising. In this case, “boutique” means a capacity of only 80 guests and a quite civilized 2:1 guest to crew ratio, so really it’s more like yachting than boarding a cruise ship. And as for luxury, well, guests can expect to be spoiled on their journey up the Seine River from Paris to Rouen, home to the famous cathedral, passing by Versailles and Giverny in addition to the de rigueur charming villages and splendid chateaux.


In terms of activities and entertainment, no shuffleboard contests and lounge singers here: instead, Jewel’s luxury partners provide guests with access to exclusive and decadent “lifestyle experiences” such as private tours of the Louvre and the Opera Bastille, a cooking class with a Michelin 3-star chef, helicopter rides over vineyards in the Champagne region, vintage wine tasting, and scenic drives in classic cabriolets. Mealtimes on the MS Jewel Imperial Blue will feature open seating in multiple onboard restaurants, with a wine bar and cigar lounge as the après-dinner amusement of choice.

As for the aforementioned luxury suites on board, they range from 215 to 473 square feet, massive by river cruise standards. Cabin fever seems unlikely under these conditions, but should it arise, a soothing massage at the MS Jewel Imperial Blue’s onboard wellness spa should be just the thing.

Seven and ten day voyages will run from August to November 2008.